It’s Time to Stop Apologizing for Being You!

There is no part of you worthy of an apology. It is time for women to STOP apologizing START accepting themselves. Including me.... Read More at SarahKoontz.com.

 

I have no desire to put any of my dear friends on the spot, but the women in my life apologize for the silliest stuff!

 

 I’m sorry my house is a mess…
      I’m sorry for talking so much…
      I’m sorry my kids aren’t behaving…
      I’m sorry for asking for help…
      I’m sorry for feeling that way…  

 

When you say these things to me, all I hear is “I’m sorry for being me.”

 

You are my friend; I know you aren’t perfect and I don’t care!

I know you well enough to know that there is no part of you worthy of an apology.

It is time for women to STOP apologizing START accepting themselves.

 

 

Including me.

It is so easy for me to see the beauty in others, but I struggle to find it within myself.

Maybe you can relate?

 

When I look inward, all I see are the things I don’t like.

 

But recently, I found myself wondering…

What if all of the things I dislike about myself are actually gifts from God to be used for His glory?

 

 

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Our greatest strengths are often our greatest weaknesses?”

There are  many parts of my personality that have caused me a great deal of frustration throughout the years.

 

There is no part of you worthy of an apology. It is time for women to STOP apologizing START accepting themselves. Including me.... Read More at SarahKoontz.com.

 

But, what if the very traits I am often tempted to apologize for are there for a good reason?

 

In life, the line between a strength and a weakness isn’t always easy to define.

 

What feels like a weakness to you now may, in fact, be the trait that brings about your greatest success in the future.

But if we get stuck on sorry, we may never move to the place of success.

It’s time for us to look inward and say, “This is me. I’m not perfect, but I am significant.”

 

It’s time for us to stop apologizing.

 

 

There are three very important steps we must take in order to accurately define our own strengths and weaknesses.

And once we do that, we need to realize that our perceived weaknesses are nothing to apologize for!

 

1. Narrow the gap between perception and reality.

 

There is often a large disparity between identity and reputation.

Identity is how we perceive ourselves; reputation is how others perceive us.

We should be constantly striving to narrow that gap.

We accomplish this by learning to fully receive compliments and developing transparent relationships.

Let me give an example.

I was the youngest of three children and the only girl.

Because of this, I tended to be assigned a lighter load in the chores department.

At one point or another, one of my siblings called me lazy and it stuck.

From that moment forward, I was lazy.

I claimed it as truth and it impacted how I perceived myself well into adulthood.

Early in our marriage, my husband made it his mission to show me that I was anything but lazy.

You see, I perceived myself as lazy, but my reputation was as a hard-worker.

It took someone from the outside to show me that my perception was inaccurate and needed to be adjusted.

 

There is no part of you worthy of an apology. It is time for women to STOP apologizing START accepting themselves. Including me.... Read More at SarahKoontz.com.

 

2. Learn what God has to say about weakness.

 

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 1 Corinthians 12:9-10

 

What if the very weaknesses we are ashamed of were placed in our life to show us our constant need for the Savior?

I feel as though there is a war waging between the strength of my mind and the weakness of my body.

There is so much I want to do, so many ideas to pursue, yet my productivity is often limited by my physical weakness.

When I truly grasped the meaning of this scripture, I recognized my health problems forced me to rely on God for strength.

My life and ministry have greatly benefited from understanding this simple truth.

 

3. Change the tone of our “inner voice.”

 

If we don’t feel valuable, necessary, important or worthy, we will never make a significant impact on the world around us.

The only way to change the way you feel about yourself is to first change the way you talk to yourself.

When we fill our heads with negative self-talk day in and day out, we choose to focus all of our energy on our weaknesses and limit God’s power in our lives!

The Bible is chalked full of statements about who God created you to be.

There are so many rich promises within the pages of His book, yet many of us fail to grab hold of its truth.

We allow our own insecurities and feelings of inadequacy hold us captive, preventing us from seeing the beauty God has created within us.

When was the last time you said something nice to yourself?

Today is the perfect time to change the tone of your “inner voice” to one that is more positive and uplifting. Eventually, your feelings will fall in line.

 

 

There is no part of you worthy of an apology. It is time for women to STOP apologizing START accepting themselves. Including me.... Christian | Woman | Encouragement | Hope | Truth | Verses | Women Inspired | Healing | Faith | Powerful | Inspirational and encouraging words of faith

 

It’s time for us to replace our apologies with….

 

 I am ready to stop apologizing for being me.
I am ready to embrace my weakness, for His glory.
I am ready to start being kind to myself.
I am ready to move to the place of success.
I am ready to accept myself, flaws and all.  

 

Are you up for the challenge?

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I have shared this post at many of my favorite Faith & Family Linkups.

Sarah Koontz

About Sarah Koontz

  Sarah Koontz invites Christians of all ages to explore the beauty of God’s design. She is a passionate storyteller who enjoys using illustrations to communicate deep spiritual truths. Sarah lives on 13-acres in South Dakota with her husband, two daughters and a rowdy flock of 30 chickens. She revels in their simple, uncluttered life. Follow Sarah on FacebookInstagram, Twitter and Pinterest. Read Sarah's full Bio Here.

71 thoughts on “It’s Time to Stop Apologizing for Being You!

  1. HI .. I just found your blog through another 31 day writer.. .. I too am also doing the 31 day challenge … I look forward to reading more of yours .. love that you are doing the quote photos … thats really neat!! I also joined your twitter 🙂 nice to meet other writing friends

    Finding The Grace within
    http://www.findingthegracewithin.com

    1. It’s nice to meet you Karen! I am so glad to have you as a twitter and #write31days friend. It is so fun getting to know new bloggers! Best of luck with the October Challenge, I will be sure to swing by and check out what you are doing.

    1. Thank you Suzie. I am excited to head on over and catch up on the #livefreeThursday conversation today. I have been sick in bed for the past 24 hours, but am finally feeling human again!

    1. My perception of self is often skewed; affected by how I think and feel about myself. It is important for me to have external truth to guide me along the way. I am hoping that these tips encourage and edify other women as they fight to align who they feel they are with who God says they are.

    1. I am learning to stop myself before I apologize and question whether or not I did something wrong. It has become almost a reflex for many women, the word “sorry” somehow makes us feel better about ourselves. You are right, though. Unless there is actual sin, there is no reason to apologize.

  2. Hey Sarah,

    What an interesting post today! I do agree with you that we need to stop apologizing so much.

    It does seem to be a woman thing (and a Christian woman thing). We will take responsibility for the bad weather, the cold restaurant, and so many other crazy things, won’t we.

    I wonder if some of us (including me) do this out of habit and in trying to be nice. I do think it’s a learned “expression” in some parts of the world.

    Maybe some of us just need to learn to use better word choices than, “I’m sorry.”

    Found your intriguing article on Grace and Truth today.
    Hope you have a nice weekend,
    Melanie

    1. I agree with you that it has become a bad habit for many women, sort of like a reflex. There are often better words to communicate our feelings in any given situation, it just takes a little more thought to find them. I find that when we overuse the word, it becomes somehow less meaningful when it’s truly time to apologize for a wrongdoing.

  3. Sarah, Sarah.. you never disappoint. What a terrific post! It has been suggested by some close friends and respected employers that I tend to lean towards being too self critical. So I relate to this post! I am learning to rely on God’s strength for my weakness and allow Him to use it for His glory! Thank you for sharing these wonderful thoughts with us. What a blessing!

    1. Horace, You are always so kind and uplifting. Thank you for being you! I love how you have overcome obstacles and made the choice to be a light for God in the midst of so many challenges. You truly are an inspiration to me. It is very challenging to have the same level of grace for ourselves as we demonstrate towards others. A simple truth that has always stuck with me is this: Pride is believing you don’t need the same level of God’s grace and forgiveness as everyone else. Pride is an ugly thing, and it is at the root of self-criticism. Once we start to recognize it for what it is, we are on our way to breaking free from it.

  4. Sarah…I love this post! And you are SO right…we need to stop apologizing for being real, messy, imperfect people! I love this: This is me. I’m not perfect, but I am significant.

    1. It’s our imperfections that reveal our need for a Savior. I think that is what Paul was speaking about in the scripture I referenced in this article. If our weaknesses bring us to a place of deeper understanding of Christ and our need for His forgiveness, then they are something to be appreciated and not apologized for.

  5. Sarah! Nice to meet you via #LifeGivingLinkup!

    These words so blessed me. They fit well with what struck me most this weekend at my first women’s retreat. Thank you for sharing and addressing this so matter-of-factly -I can feel the Lord changing my heart and this propels it! : ) Blessings!

    1. I am so glad to hear this message was timely for you. Women’s retreats are such a blessing, but a bit stressful (at least for me!). I am so proud of you for stepping out in faith and seeking to grow in your relationship with God and other women. I hope that what remains with you the most is the fact that there is no part of you worthy of an apology!

  6. Thank you for sharing such wonderful truths. I love your example of how our perception of ourselves can be different than our reputation due to being our own worst critic. God bless you!

    1. Yes Valerie, that is so true! Perception of self is such a tricky thing and a slippery slope. I am so glad I have people in my life who call me out when I am being too hard on myself.

  7. I love it! We need to watch what we are filling our minds with if we are to going to make any headway on being more accepting of ourselves and our personality. I love to write out Bible verses on how I am beautiful to God, that he sings over us and loves us so much to number our hair and I tape those to my mirror when I am finding myself too filled with negative insider chatter.

    1. My best friend does that too, Anastasia! She has note cards all over her home, and it has helped her tremendously. Philippians 4:8 says “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” I believe he is admonishing us to think on these good things to protect us from the dangers of negative self-talk. It is so hard to control your thoughts and shift them towards positivity and truth, but the benefits are priceless!

  8. Sarah, this was a great post and very dear to my heart. Much of what you said is what I have been passionate about recently. We have to learn to turn off the negative inner voices and tune into the truth of God’s voice. Once we can accomplish that we can begin to embrace who we are. I am glad that you linked this up at #titus2tuesday

    1. It is so nice to meet a kindred spirit. I will be sure to find you on social media so we can stay connected! The name of your blog speaks to your passion on this subject. I couldn’t agree with your statements more, and look forward to spending some time on your blog this week and learning from you also.

  9. Beautifully said, Sarah. Love it. Thanks for sharing. I think this may be my first time visiting. What a pretty blog you have. Visiting you from the Women with Intention linkup today. ((blessings))

    1. I haven’t been writing here for very long, so I’m not surprised it is your first time. I hope you enjoyed yourself enough to want to come back to visit me again soon. I am putting out an article on anxiety tomorrow and I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject!

    1. Sometimes, just recognizing that you do something is the biggest step towards finding freedom in that area of your life. Making a commitment to find other words to communicate may thoughts and feelings, rather than saying “I’m sorry” for everything, has really helped to strengthen my relationships. I hope it will do the same for you.

  10. I love this! We just talked about this subject in a Mom’s Tea I host. God uses our weakness and in His Strength, He makes something beautiful for His glory. We women spend too much time thinking about what we aren’t good at. God takes our strengths and weaknesses and uses them both for His plan! Stopping by from Three Word Wednesday.

    1. Kathleen, I think another thing women tend to do is compare their own weaknesses to other people’s strengths. This really sets us up for failure. How wonderful to have a group of women to discuss such important issues with! Thank you for swinging by and adding to the conversation today.

  11. Such truth here! Do you know Mary Carver’s Giving Up On Perfect blog? She’s been writing about not being sorry for 31 Days. This post goes along with what I’ve been reading at her place. So glad you linked up at #ThreeWordWednesday.

  12. LOVE LOVE this!!! It’s SO true! I have friends like this and I am guilty too! Shared this! Thank you for sharing this on MMM, I am so glad that you did! See you next party! 🙂
    Cathy

    1. Cathy, I am so glad to hear you enjoyed this post. It is a message that is dear to my heart, and I am grateful it has been so well received. We all need to be reminded of these truths from time to time. Already linked up at Making Memories Mondays, thanks for all you do to support your fellow bloggers!

  13. Hi Sarah,
    Thank you so much for sharing this post over at Coffee & Conversation last week – we’ll be featuring it on Wednesday :-)!
    Such a needed reminder…well, gotta admit at least I needed it…
    Have a terrific week! <3

    1. Thank you, Pat. I am honored. You have built a beautiful community, and I feel privileged to be part of it. This message rings true to me and I am grateful to hear it was something you needed to be reminded of also. There is no part of you worth of an apology! Blessings to you in all that you do today.

  14. Such a great reminder, I sometimes pray to see myself how God does, so I can love myself a little more and let go of all the negativity! God made each one of us into who he wanted us to be, we need to embrace that and be kind to ourselves! <3

    1. It’s so true that the weakest parts of our heart often draw us into Christ’s loving arms. We need weakness to know how much we need Him in our lives. What a beautiful perspective!

  15. Sometimes we think we’re being truthful when we admit certain things about ourselves. Some of us very well are lazy. God acknowledges that there are lazy people. But the question I have that just came to mind is this, does what we think is the definition for lazy match with God’s definition?
    I agree that it does hinder you to replay such negativity over and over in your head. I do it to myself. And I’m glad I came across your article. A man of God I heard speaking at a conference, put it this way. He said to agree with the enemy. But in response say what God’s word says about you. I needed to see this post today. Thanks for this.

    1. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. It is so difficult to develop an accurate perception of self based on the truth of God’s word, but well worth the effort! Blessings to you.

  16. Loving the new look on the sidebar over here! We do need to stop apologising for being ourselves. I’m 35 weeks pregnant with 2nd baby and I don’t know but maybe the sheer fogginess of it all has made me care less about less important things.

    1. When life gets full, something’s got to give. It’s hard to stop caring about what others think, but once you start…you’ll never want to go back. There is so much freedom in owning our flaws and our fabulessness without apology. Congrats on baby, oh my….oh my, your due date is just around the corner. Praying for safety and a swift delivery!

  17. Sarah, I enjoyed this post on not apologizing for being yourself. All women need to be reminded of this, including myself. Somehow we just know others will judge and think less of us, if we do not measure up to a set of expectations we have for ourselves and that we think they have for us. I have several close friends that we could all just be “real” and did not worry about apologizing. Then our family moved twice in the last seven years, both times out of state. In starting over and building new friendships I have found myself apologizing again. Yeah, it’s time to stop. 🙂 Great meeting another fellow blogger!

    1. It is a trap we often fall into if we aren’t careful. Moving is such a challenge. I am so priveledged to have pretty deep roots, but I have many friends who have moved away over the years. Starting over in a new place is a blessing and a curse, but more than that a challenge. I’m learning to just be real no matter where I am. So long as I am operating in love and kindness, life is better if I remain honest and vulnerable about my struggles and my victories. Not to say that its easy, but I’m learning that people are longing for more authentic relationships and are drawn to my weaknesses more than my strengths. Learning to be who you are, flaws and all, without apology is a life long pursuit…but well worth the effort. Thanks for stopping by today and joining in the conversation.

  18. “I’m sorry” has become a reflexive response for many of us, hasn’t it? Thank you for alerting us to this tendency, and for sharing with us at Grace & Truth.

  19. Sarah, your post was such a great find (via the Grace and Truth link-up). I’ve always struggled with self-esteem issues. Thank you for your practical advice!

  20. I found you at Waiting on…Wednesday and I needed to read this. I think we all fall into that trap and are so hard on ourselves. I am going to try to stop apologizing for things that I do not need to and appreciate the gifts that God has given to me.

    1. The first step is actually recognizing that we are doing it! I think awareness is so important, and I bet you will catch yourself and be able to re-direct now that it is on your mind. It is so important we learn to treat ourselves with the same level of respect and grace as we treat others. Thanks for swinging by.

  21. I love this- it has been something that I feel God has really been transforming me with over the past year. Boldly stepping out and just being myself!

  22. So many gold nuggets in this Sarah! I was just talking to a friend of how the two of us are always apologizing for things that make absolutely no sense. Such value in allowing God to heal us of our feelings and perceptions of inadequacy so we can become who we are created to be. Your message is practical and inspring!
    Crystal~

  23. This is so true! I often tell my sisters in the Lord–don’t worry about it! Such as when they say something about their house being a “mess.” I remind them that I want to spend time with them and the other stuff doesn’t bother me. Plus, we are all in the same boat when it comes to busyness most of the time.

    A friend recently encouraged me with the verse you shared also about God’s strength being made perfect in our weakness. I am holding onto that verse as I grow in my giftings and ministry to the Lord and others. Thank you for bringing it to my attention again. 🙂

  24. Oh Sarah! I loved this! The part that resonated for me was the negative self-talk. For the love! Why do we do that! Not today friend. Thank you for the reminder! (stopping over from #livefree today!)

    1. We aren’t very nice to ourselves when no one else is around to listen, are we? I’ve really had to keep a tight reign on my self-talk, it can turn negative so quickly! Thanks for stopping by, Cindy. Love you!

  25. It is wonderful and timely that I found this post today! I am struggling to get a new business off the ground and I have been moping the past month grousing to myself that I am not enough. That I cannot do it. It’s too hard. I don’t know enough people. The people I do know don’t like me much. Or they will think what I am doing is weird.
    I was at a company training session this past weekend and a lady told me “Did you ever think that the things you are worried others are thinking are actually your own fears and insecurities? How do you know they would think or feel that? And furthermore, why does it matter if you are convinced that what you are doing is the right thing for you and your family?”
    And then I read this today. It is like affirmation of what she said…get outside of being sorry for who I am and what I am doing and just be me. How simple and yet how hard! Thank you for this post…I plan to read it again, just so it can really sink in.
    Because of HIM I am enough. I am worthy. I can do it. I am valuable. My work matters.

    1. It is easy to be overwhelmed by our insufficiencies and shortcomings, yet we have so many examples in scripture of how God uses weak people to accomplish mighty things. I think we can be our own worst enemy, especially when we are embarking into new territory, yet if we can learn to treat ourselves with kindness and respect, we will discover that we are capable of doing far more than we would have ever thought. Saying a prayer over your heart this morning, trusting that God has a beautiful plan for you and grateful to be a tiny part of it.

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